By: Jim Myers
Thursday, December 15, 2016
I’ve just returned from a night out “Squatching” down near Woodland Park. A friend of mine named John has a friend who’s had a number of experiences in this particular location (A friend of a friend… I know, sounds hokey already). Apparently, when this friend was a cadet at the Air force Academy he used to hike from the Academy up to this location on the mountain above, often alone. More than once he had rocks or sticks thrown at his tent during the night, and on at least one occasion he found tracks in the mud near the stream that runs through that valley. So John and I met at McDonalds in Woodland Park to look at a map and have a healthy lunch (ha). We drove about 30 minutes out of town on possibly the worst road I have ever driven on in my life – and I’ve been on some bad roads growing up in Africa . We drove in about 5 miles on the road from hell, then parked and back-packed in another mile or so before we set up camp. The aspens in that area have already shed their leaves, and every step was ‘crunch, crunch, crunch’, like we were camping in a field of rice krispies. “Well, there goes any chance of a Squatch coming to visit this evening”, I thought. “We would hear them coming a mile away.” We set up camp, had a yummy freeze dried meal, then sat talking next to the fire. I actually fell asleep sitting there, probably right in the middle of a conversation with John. The next thing I know, John’s saying, “Jim, Jim, wake up. Maybe it’s time to go to sleep.” Hmmm, I WAS asleep, in case you didn’t notice. I said good-night, crawled into my brand new zero degree sleeping bag… and was out in seconds. I awoke several times during the night – lying there quietly, listening for any noises outside my tent. Before we retired for the night, John had me listen to a recording of another of his all-night Bigfoot expeditions, one where he would have said nothing of interest had happened all night. When he took the time to listen to all 6 or 7 hours of night-time recordings, he was amazed to hear other noises behind the sound of his deep breathing: the sound of footsteps outside, something playing with the tent ropes, the sound of an object being pushed around in the dirt… all while he lay there snoring. Note to self: never listen to a soundtrack of midnight visits by bigfoot, or read any of Dave Paulides’ books on missing people before going camping on the backside of nowhere. It will mess with your mind. I even bought a special “pee bottle” so I don’t have to get out of the tent in the wee hours of the morning. Best invention ever! I think I’ll write a review on Amazon: “Five Stars for this awesome product to prevent abduction by Sasquatch while venturing outside your tent to relieve yourself!” Anyway, nothing happened last night… unless something DID happen while I was sleeping. I’ll report back once I’ve listened to 8 hours of me snoring in the wilderness.